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I’m taking a momentarily lapse in my normal posting, which are ever so eloquently complaining about the wide world we live in. Instead, a more personal post. I am well aware that I have written about new school feminists. This time however, partially in the vein of fairness, partially due to the fact I have an ex man-child as an unfortunate albeit small part in my life.
Although, in truth I am indeed the one that had kicked him out. I am the one who is starting the divorce proceedings, and I am the one who will not give him anything in the way of emotions. So there is an understanding, I have no emotions or tolerance for this man left.
What to say about the ex of mine? Sadly, he is stunningly bland. His intellectual capacity is comparable best to perhaps a thimble with a hole at the bottom. Although, yes he is a rather “industrious” individual in this case industrious can only apply to suiting his own needs. He is a man of many vices, something it took me just over four years to fully see.
Unfortunately, I did marry him. Although that marriage only was so for about a month until he was deployed. No, he faced no unimaginable horrors. He had no contact with any atrocities, he was merely in Africa, guarding a gate for seven months. (Although, personally I am not still bound by OPSEC, I won’t divulge much out of respect of the service.) While he was gone, I played the role of typical military spouse. I sent along the care packages, I worried, I picked up his call when he managed to call. I tried to include him in my pregnancy, I was carrying our child and I gave birth while he was away.
So, pretty much the normal cookie cutter type thing.
When he came back midway for a funeral, he was still himself at first. Complaints in one hand beer in the other so to speak. He started to be a bit controlling, at least I had started to notice it. He would grow angry due to the fact I was 6 months pregnant and I had no desire to stay out all night. I had no desire to “party”. Something that should not have even been surprising considering I’ve never been the “party type”. Yet, he would get quite angry with me because I had no desire to go to any casinos (I don’t gamble), I wasn’t wanting to go to clubs, I wasn’t comfortable with him drinking heavily (I don’t like drunk drivers).
I had no energy, as I was carrying a child in my womb.
He cheated on me for the first time on that mothers day, then again after he went back to his post. When he came back, he started immediately. He did not chose to stray with any type of actual relationship, rather he is insistent on “paying for dates” (what a thinly veiled attempt at saying prostitutes) which he did well over 40 times. I could easily respect the fact that he didn’t want to be with me anymore, unfortunately he (and still is) making attempts to both justify and blame others for his behavior. You see, it is my fault he cheated due to the fact that well >insert a thousand reasons here<. This is, to be honest, rather typical behavior. It’s also the “nicer” of the things he’s done.
It is also completely sickening.
He managed to burn through 18 grand after he got back, in a matter of only a month or two. He became rather abusive to myself, he still to this day is making attempts to “set me off” he wants me angry. Although he attempts this in wholly confounding ways.
He gives absolutely no mind to our child, yet he refuses to sign over his rights. He gave me full custody, want to “pay child support”, doesn’t at all. To be blunt all of those things are to alleviate his own guilt. He chose his path, and is unhappy with the results. He expected me to “get over it” so we could “live happily ever after”.
Such a winner.
Suffice it to say, I finally have freedom in my sights. I will be happy when this is all over, once and for all.
November 18, 2008 · Leave a Comment
Reposted From Me Here.
When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I was not a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.
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