Take a Seat Over There Please. A love confession (and I want his job).

Ahh love. (but, I really and I mean REALLY want his job)

I love Chris Hansen.

A love confession (and I want his job).

Like a lot. Like a lot, a lot.  To the point where I might have his real world trolling babies.  Hmm, on second thought maybe not quite that much.  The way that man can be so brutal and such a douche yet I still love him astounds me.

Now, the service he does is great.  Embarrassing the living hell out of would be pedos.  How could I not love him for that?  I know that whole lawsuit thing that happened (maybe that should read lolsuit).  But that guy deserves every second.  Granted chicken’s way out, a gun to the head?? Really now, can’t even go out like a man?  (Or was that why he was a pedo?)

But, I cannot bring myself to blame my dear Chris for that.

What can I blame him for?

Image via Wikipedia

I imagine this is nothing like awesome cake..

Having the best frikken job ever.  Seriously he gets to mentally screw with pervs for a living.  How awesome a job can you get?  Getting them to off themselves? That icing on the already awesome cake!

I love him *sigh* (but I just really want his job…)

Also funny- When pedos ask for sammiches which never fails to turn into Quietly and panicky sipping water after finding out it’s Chris F-ing Hansen.

 

 

 

 

 

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I’m a Card Carrying Member of IDGAD* (TM)

Atonement for the Motivational type Post Yesterday.

My fault.  Oops.  Forgot the rule of blogging- Remain in your niche.  It seems my niche is the crazy bitch market. 

To make up for this, I originally had a long, drawn out diatrabe of everythig I hate, plus a few more shocking things and revelations.

I decided againt said post.  (FYI- “I decided against roughly translates into I’m far too lazy to write it all out at the moment, and instead offer this joke of a post up to you.  Hey, I’m nice like that.).

see more pwn and owned pictures

*The IDGAD

(I don’t give a damn)

Society

 

Granted, I just made that up about five seconds ago writing this title but we now officially have cards and shirts.  We have a handshake too, but to the untrained eye it just looks like we’re flipping you off.   

 

 

Dive By’s For God

 

Image via Wikipedia

I got myself verbally accosted for being a heathen. (not here, in that thing called real life).  Apparently I committed the crimes of all crimes -  I’m not religious (I know!), I got drive by God’d (TM).  Well in the name of accuracy, biked by.  They are a breed of Christian that is quite possibly the most tedious to deal with, Religious Intolerance on Bikes. 

Jez.  I wish I we’re kidding here, but you really need to take this journey with me, they dress up in a white dress shirt, black pants, black tie, bible, and a huffy.

The dip shit ran. into. me.  Trying to convert me.  Did he apologize? Did he offer to help me get up? Of course not.  The bastard blamed the devil.

They ride around looking for the heathen’s (of which I am proudly a member apparently).  Make attempts at converting, then attempt to run the devil out of you by riding their huffy after you praying loudly.

From those sentences you might think I reside along the bible belt.  You couldn’t be further from the truth.  I live in the fancy pants state.  Although one would figure that the damn high cost of living would afford me at the very least freedom from Nut jobs, sadly not at all. 

Why is it exactly, if I were to bike a stalk someone (also breaking two laws there, riding on theImage via Wikipedia sidewalk and nice little harassment charge) I would end up having to make bail.  The bike-by Christians- it’s fine. 

Next time, I’m planning on inserting my heathen baseball bat into their holy bike spokes. 

Blame the devil for that one.